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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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John Starks Leads Knicks To Victory In Promotional 1994 Roster Night

NEW YORK—Along with Fan Appreciation Night and Continental Monthly Planner Giveaway Night, the Knicks' attempt to increase fan attendance with its promotional 1994 Roster Night has proved successful, with 43-year-old backup shooting guard John Starks leading the team to a 108-106 victory over the Miami Heat. "1994 Night is a great way for fans to experience the game as if it were happening 15 years ago, and John [Starks] really came through in the clutch with those last two three-pointers," said Howard Jacobs, the Knicks' senior vice president of sports marketing. "The crowd really enjoyed seeing [Patrick] Ewing make one of his signature fadeaways, and though [Charles] Oakley and [Anthony] Mason weren't as dominant on the boards as they once were, they came through with some big free throws. The fans seemed to be happier than usual tonight." 1951 Roster Night was markedly less successful, as the Knicks forfeited the game when only four members of the team were healthy enough to travel to Madison Square Garden.

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