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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Johnny Manziel Forced To Wear Cleveland Browns Jersey In Cruel Rookie Hazing Incident

CLEVELAND—In what many claim is further evidence pointing to the NFL’s growing problem with its locker-room culture, sources confirmed Monday that former Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel was forced to wear a Cleveland Browns jersey as part of a particularly cruel form of rookie hazing. “The recent incident, in which a rookie was subjected to an extreme form of public humiliation, is unacceptable and goes against the values we stand for as an organization,” read an official team statement, responding to allegations that the first-year quarterback was made to wear the utterly demeaning outfit for several consecutive hours in full view of teammates, media members, and spectators. “We fully intend to impress upon all of our players that this type of ‘rite of passage’ can lead to significant emotional and psychological damage, and it has absolutely no place in football. We have reached out to Johnny and his family, and we hope that he will be able to move on from this and that his teammates may begin to slowly regain his trust.” Sources say the Browns are also investigating whether bullying may have been at play after discovering that 2014 first-round pick Justin Gilbert was recently forced to purchase a home in Cleveland.

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