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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Jon Gruden Impressed By Every Blade Of Grass On Football Field

GREEN BAY, WI—Hailing their contribution to the game as “extraordinary” and “totally underrated,” ESPN Monday Night Football commentator Jon Gruden was reportedly full of praise for every single blade of grass at Lambeau Field during tonight’s matchup between the Falcons and Packers. “Now, that’s a blade of grass right there—it’s not the biggest on the field, but it stands tall when it matters, and it’s got all the things you look for in a solid, reliable blade of grass,” Gruden said of a 1.8-inch grass stem situated near the 15-yard line, raving that each of the roughly 61 million Kentucky bluegrass reeds collectively make up “the best tandem of grass in the National Football League, no question.” “I love what I’m seeing out there—tough, no-nonsense, old-school blades of grass. People might say they just came up out of nowhere, but listen, it’s no surprise to anyone who saw how good those seedlings were looking back in September. And I’ll tell you something else, they’ve only gotten stronger since then. If I were the Packers, I would be very, very happy with where those sprouts are at right now.” Gruden went on to say that the hash mark at Lambeau Field’s 46-yard line possesses the same amazing qualities as the Los Angeles Coliseum goal line of the late 1980s.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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