Jonah Lehrer Working On Book About Neuroscience Behind Why We Falsify Quotes

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Vol 48 Issue 31

Spelling Bees

Game Show 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT The popular Japanese game show makes its U.S. debut as contestants compete to spell wordswhile trapped in a chamber full of angry yellow jackets.

Breathtaking Easter Island

The island’s ancient, solemn carved stone faces, known as moai, are regarded by natives as deifications of long-dead ancestors and clan chieftains.

The World's Leakiest Faucets

Discovery 10:00 p.m. EDT/9:00 p.m. CDT There's a Delta kitchen faucet in Cincinnati that’s leaking so bad it’s seriously going drip, drip,drip, drip—that fast.

Sears Extremists Fly Plane Into Willis Tower

The nation’s poorest individuals are at least grateful they aren’t part of the nation’s long-suffering middle class, pictures of a smiling group of people are taken where John Lennon was murdered, and the highlight of an Alzheimer patien...

Unemployment Rate Up

Despite the addition of 163,000 jobs in July, the U.S. unemployment rate rose slightly to 8.3 percent, suggesting the economic recovery remained weak.

Area Man Still Searching For Hookup Subculture On LinkedIn

GLADYS, VA—After weeks of concerted effort aimed at trying to meet sexual partners through the professional networking site, local man Hugh Nesbitt told reporters Friday that he has yet to break in to the underworld of casual hookups surely hidden b...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Jonah Lehrer Working On Book About Neuroscience Behind Why We Falsify Quotes

NEW YORK—Following his admission this week that he fabricated quotes he attributes to Bob Dylan in his nonfiction bestseller Imagine, disgraced former New Yorker staff writer Jonah Lehrer announced he had begun work on a new book detailing the unseen neurological factors and genetic patterns behind why we completely invent our source material. "It will take an in-depth, and often whimsical, look at how the quote-falsifying mind works, as well as the sociological conditions that allow such a mind to produce fraudulent work at a very fast pace," said Lehrer, adding that the book would also explore how the human mind, historically, has been able to use invented sources to support vague or fundamentally unsound pop science theories. "What I hope to convey is the notion that, far from being anomalous, utterly horseshit fabricated quotes are, in a sense, constantly hovering around us in the cultural ether, waiting for a certain mind to take hold of them. In that sense they are fundamental to human creativity." Lehrer confirmed the book would contain more than 8,000 citations from sources in the fields of science, medicine, sports, entertainment, politics, and literature.

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