Jonathan Franzen Rushes Over To Guy On Subway Reading 'The Corrections' To Introduce Himself

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Vol 49 Issue 05

Onion Sports' Live Coverage Of Super Bowl XLVII

Highlights Pregame Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl Pregame Onion Sports' Guide To Super Bowl XLVII Pregame Coverage Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl “I’m so pumped up! I can...

Hometown Wistfully Toured Via Google Street View

COLUMBUS, OH—Eleven years after last walking through his hometown, 29-year-old local man Paul Brundage reportedly spent the entire evening Friday revisiting his childhood neighborhood in Decatur, IL using the Google Maps Street View feature.
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Jonathan Franzen Rushes Over To Guy On Subway Reading 'The Corrections' To Introduce Himself

NEW YORK—After noticing a fellow passenger reading his critically acclaimed 2001 novel The Corrections on an uptown-bound 1 train, sources reported author Jonathan Franzen excitedly rushed over to the reader to shake his hand and introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Jonathan!” said the giddy 53-year-old American novelist as he bent down to retrieve groceries from a woman’s bag that he had knocked over in his frantic dash to intercept the reader. “Sorry to bother you, but I just saw that you’re reading The Corrections. I wrote that book! God, it’s so cool that you’re reading it. Do you like it? Hey, any chance you’d like to hang out sometime?” According to sources, Franzen spent the remainder of the train ride staring directly into the fellow passenger’s eyes with a large grin on his face.

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