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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Jose Canseco Names 10,000 Baseball Players

WASHINGTON, DC—While speaking to reporters Tuesday, Jose Canseco released the names of 10,000 current and former baseball players whom he alleges have taken part in the sport at some point during their lives. "Tim Teufel, Jim Abbot, Henry 'Hank' Aaron, Sid Fernandez, Mike Piazza, Graig Nettles, Ken Griffey Jr., Ken Griffey Sr., Chris Sabo, Dave Valle, Erubiel Durazo, Pat Listach, Carney Lansford, Terry Steinbach, Gary Gaetti," said Canseco at one point during his 14-hour statement. "Eddie Murray, Eddie Matthews, Eddie Guardado, while we're on Eddies, there's Eddie Cicotte… Um, Babe Ruth obviously, Jay Gibbons, Henry Blanco, Ralph Kiner, Darren Daulton, me, Cap Anson, Willie Bloomquist, Henry Rodriguez..." Canseco added that, if necessary, he can name thousands of other players, as long as he is granted access to official Hall Of Fame records or the 2006 edition of the Baseball Encyclopedia.

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