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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Juan Pierre's 72-Game Hitting Streak Lost Amid Recent Flurry Of Baseball Milestones

LOS ANGELES—In a weekend that saw Alex Rodriguez hit his 500th home run, Tom Glavine notch his 300th win, and Barry Bonds tie Hank Aaron's career mark of 755 homers, one small but notable accomplishment was overlooked: Dodgers centerfielder Juan Pierre collected a base hit in his 72nd consecutive game, quietly shattering the previous record of 56 games held by Joe DiMaggio. "Huh," ESPN analyst Buster Olney said of Pierre's consistent barrage of at least one hit per game for a span of nearly three months, dating all the way back to May 18 and raising Pierre's average from .265 to .423. "How do you like that?" Reporters were unable to contact Pierre before press time, as they are waiting to see if Bonds will hit No. 756 off Nationals starter Mike Bacsik, who is seeking his fourth consecutive perfect game.

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