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Politics

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Judge Rolls Eyes, Upholds Naughty Baker's First-Amendment Rights

LITTLE ROCK, AR–Rolling his eyes and sighing, Judge Howard Kitna of the Arkansas Court Of Appeals upheld Sweet 'N' Nasty erotic-bake-shop owner Bill Engler's constitutional right to free expression Monday. "As there is no legal precedent for ruling against a defendant on the grounds of bad taste, I suppose I have no choice but to rule in favor of 'The Naughty Baker' and his 'Make A Wish... And Blow!' cake," Kitna said of Engler, who was arrested Apr. 7 after refusing to remove a window display featuring a penis-shaped cake with cupcake testicles and chocolate-sprinkle pubic hair. "Go ahead and display your thing."

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