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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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June Mademoiselle To Feature Ten Ways To Flatten Your Tummy

NEW YORK—In a move that will revolutionize the work of dietitians and health scientists worldwide, Mademoiselle editor Vincent D’Meretin revealed plans Monday to publish a long-awaited list of “10 Ways to Flatten Your Tummy” in the June issue of the popular women’s magazine. The list will offer vital, never-before-known diet and exercise advice that could, if followed properly, take inches of unwanted fat off the tummy area. “I eagerly await this information,” San Francisco dietitian Mar-garet Loen said. “As a professional dietitian, I am unaware of any methods to reduce the fat content of the human body over a several-week period.”

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