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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Juror Brings Baseball Glove To Barry Bonds Perjury Trial

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying that "you never know," juror Jesse Ferguson has worn his baseball glove to the Barry Bonds perjury trial every day, telling reporters Tuesday that his seat on the jury is in a perfect spot should Bonds really connect on one. "With my luck, a hard liner would come my way the day I didn't wear a glove, so I'm just going to keep it on at all times," said Ferguson, who has taken care not to lean over the jury box railing when court is in session. "I know it's kind of childish, but there's something about attending a perjury trial with wide-ranging repercussions for the performance-enhancing-drug culture in our national pastime that brings out the kid in you." Ferguson went on to say that wearing a glove leaves one hand free to hold his beer, offer Bonds a baseball card to autograph, or take notes on the deposition.

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