adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

Justice Stevens Renews Vows To Supreme Court In Emotional Reconfirmation Hearing

WASHINGTON—In a stirring display of his commitment to the institution he pledged his life to 34 years ago, Associate Justice John Paul Stevens renewed his vows to the U.S. Supreme Court Tuesday. Entering the courtroom in a long flowing robe, Stevens walked down the aisle toward a misty-eyed Chief Justice John Roberts, who stood waiting to re-administer the oath. "I, John Paul Stevens, do solemnly swear to faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the duties incumbent upon me, till death do I part," declared a radiant Stevens. "I only wish [late President] Gerald [Ford] could have been here to give me away again." The ceremony was followed by a modest but elegant reception at the Kennedy Center, where Roberts and the 89-year-old Stevens shared the honorary first dance.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close