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The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Justin Bieber Recovering In Intensive Care Unit After Being Badly Booed

LAS VEGAS—Doctors at Valley Hospital Medical Center are reporting that pop sensation Justin Bieber is in critical but stable condition today after being admitted to the facility’s intensive care unit Sunday night with severe booing-related trauma sustained at the Billboard Music Awards. “Mr. Bieber was rushed into the ER late last evening after enduring heavy boos, and while the situation was pretty touch-and-go for a while there, his vitals look good and we are hopeful he will eventually make a full recovery,” emergency medical specialist Dr. Isaac Liss said of the 19-year-old singer, who entered the hospital after being badly hurt by a chorus of jeers, jibes, and heckles while accepting the fan-voted Milestone Award. “We’re just trying to administer lots of love and praise right now. He’s still on shaky ground, but with a steady, round-the-clock course of fawning adulation, I think Mr. Bieber will one day soon, with luck, be able to make another awards show appearance.” At press time, Bieber’s condition had taken a turn for the worse after the performer was booed by one of his nurses.

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