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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Justin Timberlake Apathetically Crowned King Of Pop

LOS ANGELES—Performer Justin Timberlake, whose hit albums include Justified and  FutureSex/LoveSounds, was crowned the de facto "King of Pop" Monday by recording-industry executives and millions of fans unable to think of anyone else to bestow the title upon.

Timberlake in one of his pop-star outfits.

"It might as well be him," said occasional music consumer Sophie Grant, 23, of Lincoln, NE, who claimed to have purchased one of Timberlake's CDs within the last few years. "We haven't had a King of Pop since Michael Jackson went off the rails, so I suppose they had to pick somebody."

"He's huge, right?" she added.

A former member of the 1990s boy band 'N Sync, a musical act known primarily for its popularity, Timberlake has dominated the pop charts as a solo artist in recent years due to a trait music-industry insiders call "the magic 'whatever' factor"—the elusive star quality whereby the majority of listeners do not actively find a recording artist to be objectionable.

With responses ranging from tepid acceptance to noncommittal approval, Timberlake has ridden a massive wave of public indifference to become the pop world's biggest superstar-by-default.

"Numbers don't lie: Justin is really popular," Jive Records marketing director Gail Meyers said. "We even checked the sales-tracking SoundScan thing, just to be sure, and it turns out, yeah, he's sold a lot of units."

A massive crowd of Timberlake ticket buyers.

"And his music is definitely 'pop,' no question there," Meyers continued. "So there's that."

It is widely assumed that the new title was cemented during Sunday's Grammys ceremony, when Timberlake gave a performance half-watched by more than 300 million viewers worldwide.

"Justin Timberlake is the undisputed King of Pop, I guess," Des Moines, IA administrative assistant Duane Carlisle, 26, said. "He also dated that famous actress and was in that big movie that my cousin saw."

"You could say he deserves it, after all those hits I know he's had," 38-year-old Chicago-area freight driver Bob Shipps said. "I've seen him on billboards and on TV. He dances. He's certainly an international sensation or what have you."

Nineteen-year-old University of Minnesota student Kristin Roper, who said she "had a nice time" at a recent Timberlake concert, owns both of the new pop king's albums. "One I got myself, and then my girlfriend bought the other one for me for my birthday, which was nice of her to do," Roper said. "I get a lot of his songs stuck in my head, but I don't think I could pick a favorite."

Music industry observers said Timberlake was virtually the only candidate for the title since wildly popular singers such as Jessica Simpson and Shakira cannot technically be called "king."

"He did bring sexy back," Rolling Stone Executive Editor Joe Levy said. "I can't even think of anyone else who would qualify. Oh, yeah, I forgot about Usher. He could have been King of Pop. Oh well, too late now."

To celebrate the news, Timberlake will reportedly throw a party sometime this weekend at a chic New York or Miami nightclub with dozens of fellow celebrities, which will be photographed and reported on by a wide array of celebrity-focused magazines and websites.

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