Justin Timberlake Tells Jessica Biel No One Will Believe Her

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Justin Timberlake Tells Jessica Biel No One Will Believe Her

LOS ANGELES—Explaining the exact nature of the situation to his wife, pop superstar Justin Timberlake reportedly told Jessica Biel on Wednesday that even if she were to make the mistake of telling somebody what happened, not a goddamn soul would believe her. “You’re nuts if you think anyone’s going to take your word over mine,” said Timberlake, who according to sources invited Biel to think for a minute about how ridiculous it would sound—her, the former 7th Heaven star, going up against him, an international sensation and the reigning king of pop. “Sure, tell the press. See if they’ll even listen to you. But Jess, if it really comes down to you versus me, then come on, who do you think they’ll believe? The guy who can literally make people scream by simply showing his face in public, or some 13-year-old’s jerk-off fantasy from 2001?” Reports indicate Timberlake then asked Biel to remind him which one of them was capable of selling out Madison Square Garden in five seconds flat and, after she answered, said, “That’s right,” patted her on the head, and told her he was going to bed.


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