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Justin Upton Realizes He’s Been At Bat For 4 Hours

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Justin Upton Realizes He’s Been At Bat For 4 Hours

ATLANTA—Taking a timeout during the third inning of Tuesday’s game against the Marlins, Braves left fielder Justin Upton reportedly realized he’d been at bat for more than four hours. “Man, how long have I been up here?” Upton was overheard muttering after fouling off 437 consecutive full-count pitches from eight different Marlins pitchers. “It’s getting fairly dark outside, my shoulders are really starting to ache, and the fans are starting to leave. I mean, I get that it’s important to be patient and wait for the right pitch, but this is taking fucking forever.” At press time, the inning had ended as Jason Heyward was caught stealing second.

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