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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Kansas Changes Spelling Of Name To 'Cannsas'; 'It Looks Cooler That Way,' Governor Says

TOPEKA, KS–Calling the old spelling "totally lame," the Kansas legislature voted Monday to change the state's name to "Cannsas," effective immediately. "'Kansas' with a 'K' was just so boring," said Gov. Bill Graves, writing "Cannsas" over and over on a looseleaf binder. "It looks way cooler with the 'C' and two 'N's. It's almost like it's foreign or something." The move is believed to have been motivated by a similar move last year by the state of Kentuckki.

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