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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Completes Horror Movie Script About Giant Hook From Sky Killing People

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

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RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Completes Horror Movie Script About Giant Hook From Sky Killing People

LOS ANGELES—Former NBA superstar and Hall of Fame center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar confirmed Monday he had finished writing a horror screenplay about a terrifying giant hook that comes from the sky and kills millions of people. "So at the start, life is normal, but then this massive razor-sharp hook suddenly appears in the sky and starts murdering people, and everyone's in awe of it, but no one can do anything because it's unstoppable," said Abdul-Jabbar, the NBA's all-time scoring leader, who told reporters he has spent the past six years working on the script. "People try to put up their arms to block it, but the huge hook arches way high up in the sky and then comes back down and decapitates all of them." According to Abdul-Jabbar, the huge scary hook escaped from a mental institution in the sky.

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