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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Kasich Trying To Find Other States Where He Is Beloved Multi-Term Governor

COLUMBUS, OH—Hoping to build on the momentum from his victory in the Ohio Republican primary last night, presidential candidate John Kasich reportedly spent much of Wednesday trying to locate other states where he is a beloved multi-term governor. “Given our campaign’s tremendous success in Ohio, I’ve instructed my top staffers to focus all their efforts on identifying additional states where I am currently a widely popular governor, or have been in the past,” the candidate told reporters, adding that several aides were currently placing calls to every statehouse in the country to determine whether Kasich is a sitting governor anywhere else. “We want to move forward with the strategy that’s worked for us, and that means campaigning hard in states where my current constituents live. I’ve proved that I can win big in areas where I’m the governor, and now it’s time to take that approach nationwide.” Kasich went on to admit that he was still playing catch-up after his earlier strategy of trying to find states with a sizable moderate Republican base had proved unsuccessful.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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