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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Katy Perry Drops Hints That Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Be Awful

PHOENIX—Stressing that she didn’t want to divulge too much information about the upcoming performance, pop star Katy Perry dropped several hints at a press conference Friday indicating that this weekend’s Super Bowl XLIX halftime show will be completely awful. “I don’t want to give anything away, but I will say this: Come halftime on Sunday, you better be ready to see the absolute worst, most god-awful piece of garbage you could possibly imagine,” said a smiling Perry, cryptically adding that fans could expect to see several surprise guests join her for “some lame duet performance that no one would ever want to see or hear in a million years.” “I can’t wait for you guys to see what Lenny [Kravitz] and I have planned, because you’ll be blown away at just how unbelievably terrible it is. The whole thing is going to be one giant, extremely over-the-top, 12-minute-long, pathetic excuse for entertainment that will be totally unwatchable. Trust me, you’re going to hate it—just absolutely hate it.” Despite guaranteeing that this Sunday’s halftime show will easily be one of the worst of all time, Perry did admit that it will be difficult to top last year’s giant heap of dog shit starring Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

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