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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Keeping an Open Mind

In the modern world we are constantly exposed to new ideas, concepts and cultures and we are expected to experience them without preconceived notions, which can be difficult for some. Here are some ways to help keep an open mind:

  • Trying new things can be scary but if your little brother can do it, what's your problem?
  • If you believe in yourself you can accomplish anything, but let’s be honest it will probably just be data-entry again.
  • Meditation is an excellent way to clear your head, just remember to stay far away from those fucking kids of yours.
  • It is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't, so act with total disregard for the laws of God and Man.
  • Every day, do at least one thing you've never done before, such as painting a masterpiece, writing a hit song or going outdoors.
  • Be respectful of all religions, so if a different one than yours is the right one they might put you in the nice part of Hell.
  • Things are often different than they appear, for example something like a simple brownie can leave you tripping your balls off for the next twelve hours.
  • Your ideas about sex are probably inhibited and repressive. Why not unshackle yourself by taking off your pants. Right now. Let's live a little.
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