How do dangerous narcotics cartels smuggle their goods into the U.S. and what is the human cost of their operations? The Onion explains the drug trade.
NEW YORK—Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez, the subject of recent controversy after remarking that women "don't belong in the dugout," called a press conference yesterday to further explain places where he believes women do or do not belong. "While I still do not believe that women belong in dugouts, locker rooms, and many other locations, I believe women do in fact belong in certain other places," Hernandez said. "For instance, they belong in souvenir kiosks, reception areas, certain places in the press box, and even limited locations in large board rooms. That's not to say that I think they belong only in the kitchen or bedroom, regardless of where they're best suited to be. I just don't think they should be in the dugout." Although he was not specifically asked, Hernandez also took time to speak at length as to what he believed was the proper place for society's Hispanics.