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Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.
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Kemba Walker Wants To Be The One To Throw Ball Up At Very End Of Game

HOUSTON—Opening up to reporters at a press conference Sunday, Connecticut all-American guard Kemba Walker explained at great length that should the Huskies have the fortune of winning Monday's national championship game, he would like to be the player who launches the basketball into the air as the final seconds run out. "Hours of practice, all the games, everything we've achieved this year, it all leads up to that moment; as those final seconds tick down, I want the ball in my hands so I can throw it really, really high," Walker said. "There are a lot of options in a moment like that—one hand, two hands, straight up, out into the crowd—but in the end, only one thing matters: really chucking it way up there with all you've got." After speaking to the media, Walker made his way to Connecticut's final practice, where he spent the majority of his time trying to get a ball to hit the rafters.

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