adBlockCheck

Kemba Walker Wants To Be The One To Throw Ball Up At Very End Of Game

Top Headlines

Sports

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Kemba Walker Wants To Be The One To Throw Ball Up At Very End Of Game

HOUSTON—Opening up to reporters at a press conference Sunday, Connecticut all-American guard Kemba Walker explained at great length that should the Huskies have the fortune of winning Monday's national championship game, he would like to be the player who launches the basketball into the air as the final seconds run out. "Hours of practice, all the games, everything we've achieved this year, it all leads up to that moment; as those final seconds tick down, I want the ball in my hands so I can throw it really, really high," Walker said. "There are a lot of options in a moment like that—one hand, two hands, straight up, out into the crowd—but in the end, only one thing matters: really chucking it way up there with all you've got." After speaking to the media, Walker made his way to Connecticut's final practice, where he spent the majority of his time trying to get a ball to hit the rafters.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close