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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.
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Ken Burns Not Sure How To Turn Down Ray Romano’s Repeated Offers To Narrate Next Documentary

WALPOLE, NH—At a loss for an appropriate way to respond to the messages the actor-comedian continues to leave on his phone, filmmaker Ken Burns confirmed Wednesday that he is unsure how to decline Ray Romano’s repeated offers to narrate his next documentary. “I keep ignoring his calls and letting them go to voicemail, but he just isn’t taking the hint,” said Burns, adding that the Everybody Loves Raymond star’s messages go on at length about how he would love to voice a historical character in one of Burns’ documentaries or perhaps even narrate an entire eight-part series. “Ray’s a nice guy and a fine performer, but the second I hear his voice on my answering machine, I think, ‘No way in hell.’ Maybe I could have used him in Brooklyn Bridge, but that was a long time ago. I just have to hope he tires himself out, I guess.” At press time, sources confirmed Romano had left a voicemail for Burns in which he praised The Civil War and tried his hand at some of Ulysses S. Grant’s lines, which had been performed in the documentary by two-time Academy Award winner Jason Robards.

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