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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Ken Whisenhunt: 'A Lot Of People Said We Couldn't Come In Here And Win, And They Were Correct'

TAMPA BAY, FL—After losing 27-23 to the Steelers in a hard-fought Super Bowl, Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt boldly addressed the Cardinals' detractors, lauding them for a correct prediction of a Steeler win. "They said our defense couldn't come through in a big spot, that we were too inexperienced, that [running back] Edge [Edgerrin James] was finished: right, right, and right. I only wish I had listened to them and not gotten my hopes up so high," said Whisenhunt, expressing satisfaction in proving doubters "right, but barely." "We heard all week about how there was no way we'd come out of there with a win, and then that's the way it happened. Bottom line, they were right and I was wrong." Whisenhunt then addressed those die-hard Cardinal fans who believed in the team all along, calling them "delusional" and "misguided."

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