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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Ken Whisenhunt: 'A Lot Of People Said We Couldn't Come In Here And Win, And They Were Correct'

TAMPA BAY, FL—After losing 27-23 to the Steelers in a hard-fought Super Bowl, Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt boldly addressed the Cardinals' detractors, lauding them for a correct prediction of a Steeler win. "They said our defense couldn't come through in a big spot, that we were too inexperienced, that [running back] Edge [Edgerrin James] was finished: right, right, and right. I only wish I had listened to them and not gotten my hopes up so high," said Whisenhunt, expressing satisfaction in proving doubters "right, but barely." "We heard all week about how there was no way we'd come out of there with a win, and then that's the way it happened. Bottom line, they were right and I was wrong." Whisenhunt then addressed those die-hard Cardinal fans who believed in the team all along, calling them "delusional" and "misguided."

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