PHOENIX—With the economy in crisis and an NFL lockout looming, Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt told reporters Monday that he had no choice but to take a position as head coach of the St. Louis Rams in order to "keep [his] head above water." "I got a wife and two kids, and college tuition certainly isn't getting any cheaper," said Whisenhunt, who added that the stress of the 1,476-mile commute—as well as poor play from Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson and the ongoing maturation process of Sam Bradford—was really starting to get to him. "At least last week both teams played each other, so I only had the one game to attend. Even then I had to come up with two different halftime speeches, and afterwards I was so tired I accidentally got on the team plane to St. Louis instead of going back to my house. But hey, at least we got the win." NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly aware of Whisenhunt's situation, but unable to take disciplinary action because he's too busy moonlighting as head of the NHL.