adBlockCheck

Ken Whisenhunt Making Ends Meet By Taking Second Head Coach Job

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Ken Whisenhunt Making Ends Meet By Taking Second Head Coach Job

PHOENIX—With the economy in crisis and an NFL lockout looming, Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt told reporters Monday that he had no choice but to take a position as head coach of the St. Louis Rams in order to "keep [his] head above water." "I got a wife and two kids, and college tuition certainly isn't getting any cheaper," said Whisenhunt, who added that the stress of the 1,476-mile commute—as well as poor play from Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson and the ongoing maturation process of Sam Bradford—was really starting to get to him. "At least last week both teams played each other, so I only had the one game to attend. Even then I had to come up with two different halftime speeches, and afterwards I was so tired I accidentally got on the team plane to St. Louis instead of going back to my house. But hey, at least we got the win." NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly aware of Whisenhunt's situation, but unable to take disciplinary action because he's too busy moonlighting as head of the NHL.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close