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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Kennel Certificate Proves Who Puppy Daddy Is

VALLEY MILLS, TX—An AKC certificate of pedigree proves conclusively that Duke, a 2-year-old Rottweiler from nearby Rock Springs, is the puppy daddy of Skipper, a Rottweiler born July 20, Cloverleaf Kennel sources reported Monday. "Duke can bark excuses all day and night, but this pedigree proves that Skipper his," said attorney Seth Freidman, who represents Ginger, Skipper's mama. "Duke should be responsible for Skipper's upbringing. I'm sick of hearing that it's a male dog's nature to seek out multiple breeding partners." A spokesperson for Duke said his client was lured by Ginger's promiscuity, insisting that "everyone know the bitch have litters by three different dogs before Duke."

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