Kenny Rogers Denies Cheatin' During World Series

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 43

Science Disproves Vampires

Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?

Door Open for NJ Gay Marriage

The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that gay couples were entitled to the same rights as heterosexuals, leaving the door open for gay marriage. What...

‘Stay The Course’ No More

According to reports, the Bush Administration will no longer use the phrase ‘stay the course’ when talking about the war in Iraq. What do...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Late Night

Kenny Rogers Denies Cheatin' During World Series

COLBERT, GA—Country vocalist Kenny Rogers repeatedly and vehemently denied rumors that he engaged in cheatin' behavior during Game 2 of the World Series Sunday night, which he maintains he watched on TV at his friend Randy's house across town despite anonymous eyewitnesses placing him at the Lincoln Park Motor Inn with an unknown red-haired woman. "C'mon, honey, you have to believe in me, here," Rogers said from the front lawn of his estate while dodging clothing and personal possessions thrown at him from the second-floor windows of his house by Wanda Miller, his wife of nine years. "I had a few beers and, you know, decided to take my time getting home, is all. Honey?" Suspicion initially settled on Rogers when a visual inspection seemed to reveal a "tacky" stain on the multiple-Grammy-award winner's hands.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More