adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
End Of Section
  • More News

Kentucky Player Must Explain Significance Of AutoZone Liberty Bowl Before Coed Sleeps With Him

LEXINGTON, KY—University of Kentucky freshman Amy Austin demanded defensive end Ventrell Jenkins explain "what's so great" about the AutoZone Liberty Bowl before she would consent to participate in sexual intercourse with him, sources reported Monday.

"Technically, it's not the championship, but it's a lot like a championship," Austin's suitemates overheard Jenkins say. "Trust me. It was an important game." Jenkins also reportedly told the coed a trophy was awarded for the victory, and that this validated the game's significance. "With the BCS, there's not just one winner," he continued. "We're all winners in, like, diverse ways. It's hard to explain, but there was confetti and shit. We're the 2009 AutoZone Liberty Bowl champs.... Hey, come here." Austin reportedly put her clothes back on and left the room when Jenkins accidentally mentioned that Notre Dame had also played in a bowl game this year.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close