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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Kevin Durant Has Off Night With Quiet 94-For-128, 210-Point Performance

OKLAHOMA CITY—Despite his team’s victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves, Oklahoma City Thunder coach Scott Brooks admitted to reporters Wednesday night that forward Kevin Durant gave a largely subdued performance, converting just 94 of 128 shots and finishing the game with only 210 points. “Kevin had one of those nights where it just wasn’t happening for him offensively, but we can’t expect him to keep putting up 250 shots every game like he’s been doing,” said Brooks, stressing that Durant’s underwhelming 49 rebounds, 57 assists, and 72 points from outside the arc are not indicative of any major issues with the three-time NBA scoring champion. “Credit has to go to the Timberwolves’ defense—they contained Durant and restricted him to just 134 points inside the paint. But at the end of the day, it’s only one game, and he’ll bounce back from it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he returns to his usual standard with at least 300 points next game.” Brooks went on to say that the rest of his players “really stepped up” amidst Durant’s struggles, collectively scoring 29 points.

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