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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Key Races: Governor

NEW YORK:

Carl Paladino (R) vs. Andrew Cuomo (D)

Eyes:

  • Paladino: Droopy-serious
  • Cuomo: Twinkly-hopeful

Stance on gay marriage:

  • Paladino: Against, because why buy the cow?
  • Cuomo: For it, but not sure about the whole meeting on the Internet thing

View of stimulus bill:

  • Paladino: Didn't help
  • Cuomo: Didn't hurt

Mother's meatball recipe:

  • Paladino: Better than any restaurant, my hand to God
  • Cuomo: Friggin' unbelievable

Top adviser:

  • Paladino: Mr. Tire Iron, right here
  • Cuomo: Father and former governor Mario Cuomo

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