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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Key Races: The House

NEW HAMPSHIRE 1ST CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT:

Carol Shea-Porter (D) vs. Frank Guinta (R)

Campaign promise:

  • Shea-Porter: Will double the maple syrup subsidy and impose a tariff on foreign foliage
  • Guinta: Vows to eliminate wasteful government bodies like the Department of Energy, the Department of Education, and the Coast Guard

Opinion of New Hampshire:

  • Shea-Porter: It's fine
  • Guinta: Could take it or leave it

Simpler times:

  • Shea-Porter: Butter churn
  • Guinta: Griddle cakes

Ever got drunk at a quarry:

  • Shea-Porter: No comment
  • Guinta: Went to boarding school

Biggest campaign blunder:

  • Shea-Porter: Forgot to approve message during campaign commercial
  • Guinta: Accidentally campaigned in Vermont for six weeks before realizing he was in wrong state

Lifestyle choice:

  • Shea-Porter: Living free
  • Guinta: Dying

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