adBlockCheck

Business

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
End Of Section
  • More News

KFC Introduces New Previously Owned 20-Piece Hot Wings

LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken announced Wednesday that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 20-piece box of pre-owned hot wings. “Sure, these wings are a little bit older, and the package may have a couple dents in it, but they’re a lot more affordable than the brand-new ones,” said Kelly Lipscomb of Minot, ND as she stopped by a local KFC to try the gently used menu item, which varies in price from $1.99 to $6.99 depending on how many weeks ago the wings were prepared. “You can lay down 14 bucks for those fancy new hot wings, but those things start to lose value the moment you drive out of the KFC parking lot. Money-wise, it just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Besides, these used ones still got plenty of meat left on the bone, and to be honest, they really don’t taste all that different than they do when they’re new.” Company officials confirmed that KFC customers will also be able to purchase a discount value meal that includes previously owned hot wings, a secondhand medium soft drink, and a certified 2012 homestyle biscuit.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close