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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Kid Coming From P.E. Spends Entire Math Class Absolutely Drenched In Sweat

TRENTON, NJ—Having arrived directly from the school gym where he played three-on-three basketball for 45 minutes, local 10th-grader Alex McKean reportedly spent the entirety of his math class Tuesday absolutely drenched in sweat. Early reports confirmed that the 15-year-old, who first entered the classroom with his sweat-stained T-shirt clinging to his body, immediately sprawled out on a chair in the back row, with beads of perspiration continuing to stream down his forehead, neck, and arms. Completely flushed in the face, the high schooler could also be heard panting heavily well into the first five minutes of the lesson as he tugged repeatedly at the front of his shirt in an effort to cool himself down. In addition to leaving all students in his vicinity visibly disgusted, McKean’s powerful body odor reportedly deterred his teacher from walking anywhere near his section of the classroom for the duration of the lecture. Following the bell, sources confirmed that McKean made a quick stop at a water fountain before showing up to his American history class with water still dripping from his mouth.

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