Kid With Cancer Hopes To Realize Dream Of Meeting Competent Oncologist

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Vol 45 Issue 39

Cat Congress Mired In Sunbeam

WASHINGTON—"We've come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we'll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible," said majority leader and Budget Committee chaircat Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND), stretching out to his entire length and repeatedly kneading the chamber carpet.
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Kid With Cancer Hopes To Realize Dream Of Meeting Competent Oncologist

MINNEAPOLIS—Despite visits from Olympic snowboarder Shaun White and film actor Ryan Reynolds, 13-year-old Corey Duthers announced Tuesday that before he dies he wants more than anything to meet a world- renowned pediatric oncologist. "I've looked it up on the iPhone those nice Make-A-Wish people gave me, and this form of cancer is definitely treatable," said Duthers, who claimed that his dream is to someday receive the best possible treatment for his illness. "Don't get me wrong, it was definitely cool when [WWE wrestler] John Cena dropped by, but when I asked him about getting a partial hepatectomy, he just smiled and put me in a kind of fake headlock for a while." While the quality of his medical care had not improved, Duthers said that he remained optimistic about exploring new medical options during his consultation with Atlanta rapper Souljah Boy next week.

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