Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage: 'I'm Not A Monster'

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 13

Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl

An aquarium unveils its new 'Floating Carcasses of the Pacific' exhibit, a guy with 10,000 tweets and 15 followers is about ready to hang it up, and a local father buys string cheese to make coming to his house more fun. It's the week of March 29, 2013.

Arizona Gun Advocates Launch Free Shotgun Giveaway

A group funded by local gun enthusiasts’ donations announced plans to provide free shotguns to citizens in troubled sections of Tucson, AZ, the site of the 2011 mass shooting that left former congresswoman Gabby Giffords severely wounded.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

Personal Finance

Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage: 'I'm Not A Monster'

PYONGYANG—As the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday on the constitutionality of banning same-sex marriage, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un told reporters that, considering he’s not a completely awful human being, he unequivocally believes that gay people should be able to marry. “Of course I believe gay and lesbian couples should be treated equally under the law, for God’s sake; I’m not a monster,” the despotic leader said, adding that the idea of trying to stop a loving couple from legally marrying one another is not only wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint but also violates the Fourteenth Amendment. “I have no idea what’s going on with the justices over there, to be honest. The whole thing is a fucking embarrassment.” Kim added that, should the Supreme Court not declare same-sex marriage constitutional in all 50 states, he would strongly consider launching a nuclear weapon at the United States.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More