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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Kim Jong-Un's Wife On Nuclear Threats: 'This Isn't The Man I Was Forced To Marry'

PYONGYANG—Ri Sol-ju, wife of North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un, opened up to reporters Thursday about her husband’s warmongering, saying that the Dear Leader’s recent bluster was totally uncharacteristic of the man she was forced to marry three years ago. “Since being ordered by my government to spend the rest of my life with this man, I’ve gotten to know him very well, and I can tell you that the Jong-un threatening nuclear war is not the same Jong-un who plucked me out of a parade and demanded I cut ties with my family,” said Ri, adding that she still believes the controlling despot who erased her identity and forbade her from leaving the residential villa is in there somewhere. “The man you see promising missile strikes on U.S. targets is not the person I was forced to fall in love with. And he’s certainly not the same father to the child I was forced to have with him. It’s upsetting to admit, but when I’m told to sit across from Jong-un at the breakfast table, I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore.” When reached for further comment, North Korean officials said that Ri would be unavailable for the foreseeable future.

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