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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Kiss With Wife Pretty Good

DENTON, TX—Forty-one-year-old printer repairman and husband Nils Holzer was shocked by the quality of a kiss he shared with his wife before going to work last Tuesday. The kiss, which experts estimate to be the couple's 4,287th, lasted eight seconds longer than their previous and featured more animation on the part of both participants. "Well, whadaya know?" Holzer said. "That was pretty all right. She even moved her hands around on my back. I forgot about that." Holzer thought about the kiss for most of the day, and was at press time considering doing something nice for her, like buying some of those daisies she likes.

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