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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Knicks Fast Break Takes Two-And-A-Half Minutes

ATLANTA—A New York Knicks fast break which began with 8:34 remaining in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game against the Atlanta Hawks ended approximately two-and-a-half minutes later on a missed lay-up by shooting guard Jamal Crawford. The typically fast-paced basketball play, which began to take shape when a rebounding David Lee took 45 seconds to figure out which of his teammates would receive the outlet pass, was, according to Knicks coach Isiah Thomas, "A real sign of improvement." "Yes, it was a bit discouraging when we had to start the play over again because Nate [Robinson] forgot he was the point guard and just ran away from the ball, but after we all got on the same page, and when Quentin [Richardson] remembered that Jamal, not him, cuts to the hoop and then flashes ball side, I think we ended up running a pretty decent break," Thomas said in a post-game press conference. "Just because we ultimately had to carefully walk through it in order to get it right doesn't make it less effective." Thomas was not fired following the game.

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