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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Knowshon Moreno Asks Broncos If There's Anything Else To Drink Besides Gatorade

SAN DIEGO—Denver running back Knowshon Moreno spent a portion of the Broncos' game against the Chargers Monday night asking team managers if there was anything to drink on the sidelines other than Gatorade. "I'm sick of Gatorade all the time, and I don't want water," said Moreno, who was observed asking a sideline reporter drinking a ginger ale if she "[got] that here or someplace else." "I could definitely go for a Pepsi right now. There's got to be some Pepsi around here. Isn't the NFL sponsored by Pepsi or something?" Later, during a fourth-quarter drive, Moreno reportedly asked his teammates if they wanted a beverage before leaving the field and disappearing into the stands.

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