Kobe Bryant Blasts Teammates For Failure To Criticize Pau Gasol

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Vol 48 Issue 50

Fuck Everything, Nation Reports

WASHINGTON—Following the fatal shooting this morning at a Connecticut elementary school that left at least 27 dead, including 20 small children, sources across the nation shook their heads, stifled a sob in their voices, and reported fuck everything...

McDonald's Prints Calorie Count Right Onto Meat

A rare pornographic movie is shot at the Vatican for the first time since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV,' Taylor Swift is apparently now dating 'Garfield' creator Jim Davis, and Mumford and Sons can't believe they all got each other mandolins for Christmas.
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    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Kobe Bryant Blasts Teammates For Failure To Criticize Pau Gasol

LOS ANGELES—Claiming there was “no excuse” for tolerating weakness, Lakers guard Kobe Bryant publicly called out his teammates Thursday for their failure to condemn center Pau Gasol’s lackluster play this season. “We all need to step up, get right in his face, and vilify him like we really mean it,” said Bryant, who encouraged the entire team to “come together and just attack, attack, attack” the 7-foot-1 Spaniard. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one denouncing Pau’s weak style of play every single night. That’s not acceptable. This has to be a team effort. I want our bench guys to get involved. Coach [Mike D’Antoni] is with me on this, but even he knows he could be doing more.” Bryant also issued a challenge to each and every one of his teammates to draw technical fouls for fighting with Pau Gasol during Friday’s game against the Thunder.

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