adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Kobe Bryant In Search Of Another Cause To Put His 49 Points Toward

LOS ANGELES—A day after his team's 118-111 loss to the Phoenix Suns, perennial all-star Kobe Bryant pulled his 49 points from the Lakers' official score sheet Monday and announced he would donate them to a more beneficial cause. "There are a lot of people out there who need these points more than I do," said Bryant, who has accumulated a fortune of more than 23,000 points during his 13-year career. "Habitat for Humanity could put some points toward giving someone a home, and St. Jude children's hospital could use it to cure childhood cancer.... As one of the world's highest scorers, I need to be a more responsible role model." Reactions of Laker players and fans were mixed when Bryant declared that 10 percent of all his subsequent points would go to the ASPCA.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close