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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Kobe Bryant Mourns Passing Of Ball

LOS ANGELES—Lakers guard Kobe Bryant was visibly shaken, angry, and confused at center court of the Staples Center Tuesday night when the basketball that he held so close for most of the game was suddenly and inexplicably passed away. "It feels like I was just holding it in my hands a second ago, and now it's gone," said a tearful Bryant, who admitted he "just wasn't ready to let go." "I wish I could say it's in a better place now, but honestly, I'm not sure I can make myself believe that." Bryant later promised that, should he ever get close to another ball, he would make sure that something like this would never happen again.

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