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Kobe Bryant Still Shocked Every Time He Makes A Jump Shot

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

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Kobe Bryant Still Shocked Every Time He Makes A Jump Shot

LOS ANGELES—Despite his above-average field-goal percentage and 31.5 points per game, nine-time NBA All-Star Kobe Bryant admitted that he is "struck with complete and utter wonder" every time he makes a jump shot. "There's barely enough room for the ball to get in the hoop in the first place, the trajectory has to be absolutely perfect, and men who are just as tall and athletic as I am are being paid good money to stop me," Bryant said yesterday in a post-game press conference. "The combination of physics, timing, and pure human instinct involved in getting that ball to describe a perfect scoring arc through the air and into the hoop is... It might as well be an act of God." Bryant credited the mystery of the jump shot for inspiring him to spend long periods of time in churches, museums, and planetariums, meditating on the interconnectedness and seeming impossibility of all things.

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