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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC

WICHITA, KS—Saying that perspectives of young Americans are rarely represented in today’s political discourse, Koch Industries executives Charles and David Koch released a public statement Thursday encouraging the nation’s youth to make their voices heard in the upcoming midterm elections by establishing an Independent Expenditure-Only Political Action Committee. “Today’s political decisions will have an enormous impact on all young Americans, which is why we hope you’ll participate in the democratic process this election by filling out Federal Election Commission Form 1 identifying yourselves as a 501(c)(4),” said Charles Koch, adding that if the nation’s 18-to-24-year-olds are going to help shape the future of the country, it is vital they begin soliciting millions of dollars in contributions from anonymous donors to be spent on a multilayered media strategy. “We don’t care if you spend your slush fund on attack ads, opposition research, push polling, or anything else—we just want you, the young people of America, to be involved. Managing a mostly unregulated war chest and concealing your strictly prohibited coordination with the candidate of your choice takes very little of your time. So please, don’t sit on the sidelines this November.” The Koch brothers added that they hoped today’s youth would stay politically active after the election by using their wealth to wield unending influence over their representative throughout his or her time in office.

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