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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Koko The Gorilla Now Just Flipping Everybody Off

WOODSIDE, CA–Koko, the famed gorilla whose mastery of sign language made her a celebrity, has now resorted to flipping everybody off. "Apparently, after more than 20 years of rigorous sign-language training and cue-card drills, Koko is sick of being the world's foremost test ape," said Koko trainer Dr. Francine Patterson. "Yesterday, she gave me the hand sign for 'Leave me the hell alone, already. I am an intelligent creature who has more than adequately demonstrated my vast capacity for reasoning and other high-level brain functions. Go away, and let me eat my banana in peace.'"

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