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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Koren Robinson Promises His Next Drunk-Driving Incident Will Outdo Steve Foley's

GREEN BAY, WI—Troubled Packers wide receiver/kick returner Koren Robinson reacted to news of San Diego Chargers' linebacker Steve Foley's shooting during a recent DUI arrest by promising fans that his own upcoming alcohol-fueled rampage would eclipse Foley's. "Mark my words, man, Foley's .233 blood-alcohol level don't mean nothin' to a veteran like me," said Robinson, who was recently acquired by the Packers after a drunk-driving arrest prompted his release from the Minnesota Vikings. "Now, getting shot three times is pretty good, but believe me, the way they're gonna have to bring me down? National news a week straight, believe it." Despite his guarantee, Robinson would not comment on whether he had set his sights on surpassing Lawrence Taylor's all-time carousing legacy.

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