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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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KurrencyKook.com Gives New $100 Bill Mixed Review

WASHINGTON—Currency-themed website KurrencyKook.com weighed in on the Department of the Treasury’s soon-to-be-released 2013 line of $100 bills with a decidedly mixed review Thursday. “Overall, the bill is crisp and the inking is neatly done, and yet I can’t help but see this entire redesign as a bit of a missed opportunity,” said veteran currency reviewer John “The Buck” Mullen, who gave the banknote “62 cents out of 100” in his 1,100-word write-up. “The fine-line printing on the Benjamin Franklin portrait on its obverse is excellent, without a doubt, but ultimately, this only mildly pleasing bill is far from the Treasury’s best effort. It leaves one wondering, the farther away we get from the stunning 1996 redesign, if the Treasury will ever again match those lofty heights.” KurrencyKook’s review contrasted sharply with that of rival site MoneyManDan.com, which claimed the new bill was “the kind of legal tender design you dream about: elegant, forward-thinking—and, if I may, this baby looks like a million bucks.”

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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