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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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LaDainian Tomlinson To Play Next Game Without A Groin

SAN DIEGO—Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson, who was forced to leave last week's game in the second quarter after aggravating a groin injury, announced Wednesday that he will play Sunday's game against Pittsburgh without the aid of his groin. "The team will need me against the Steelers, and I can't afford to let my groin hold me back, so the groin is staying on the bench for this one," said Tomlinson, who made the decision against the recommendation of team doctors. "I would have just bit it off on the sidelines last week, like Ronnie Lott did with his pinkie that one time, but [running back] Darren [Sproles] told me he had the situation under control, and he did. That's one I owe him." Tomlinson's decision to play without a vital part of his anatomy is being compared to former Lions running back Barry Sanders' decision to play his entire career without his skeleton.

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