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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Lamar Odom Representative Denies Basketball Player Missing

‘He’s In A Crack House,’ Agent Assures Media

LOS ANGELES—Following numerous unofficial reports that former Los Angeles Lakers forward and current free agent Lamar Odom has gone missing, a representative for the basketball player sought to quash the speculation surrounding his client and his whereabouts Tuesday, assuring reporters that Odom is safe and sound in a local crack house. “There have been a lot of rumors flying around about Lamar lately, so I just want to make it perfectly clear that he hasn’t gone missing; he just hasn’t been seen recently because he’s smoking crack in a crack house,” said Odom’s agent Jeff Schwartz, clarifying that the two-time NBA champion has, since his supposed disappearance, been spending time in a burned-out apartment building in Los Angeles’ Inglewood neighborhood, which Schwartz described as “Lamar’s favorite crack house.” “While I know a lot of people have expressed concern that Lamar hasn’t been heard from in a few days, I want to emphasize that there’s absolutely no cause for alarm here. Like I said, he’s just in a crack house, smoking crack with a bunch of other people who are also smoking crack. He does this all the time.” Schwartz added that the reason his client is smoking crack is because he’s addicted to crack.

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